My mother is 95, and has lived a good, long life. But now it’s her time to go, although she’s continuing to hold on to the last days of life. She’s been unresponsive for almost a week, and all my brother and I can do is let her know we’re here for her, and it’s ok to let go. I’ve already said my goodbye’s, so now I just sit quietly with her, massaging her arms and legs to let her know I’m here for her, and that it’s ok for her to say goodbye, as well.
For those of you that have heard my personal money story, it’s been a long journey to making peace with my money. And my parents played a large part in my money mindset of scarcity, which I still struggle to overcome to this day. But that control of money that my mother had in my earlier life is now a blessing at the end of her life – she has all of her paperwork in order, including trusts, power of attorneys so I can make medical and financial decisions on her behalf, and my brother and I know exactly what assets she has and what to do with them.
That organization of her finances and documents is making her imminent passing a lot less chaotic than it could be. There are still so many things to take care of – cleaning out her apartment, constant contact with the hospice and her financial advisor, funeral arrangements, sorting through her paperwork to see what we should keep or not, keeping family and friends apprised of her situation. And the hardest part – going through her things to decide what to keep and who gets what. All while handling the emotional and mental stress of going to visit her daily, and seeing her in the state that she is in.
The fact that she has her legal and financial paperwork prepared and organized is such a blessing. I can only imagine the additional stress if she didn’t have that taken care of, and the overwhelming sense of helplessness. This article from Caregiverstress.com talks about the end of life planning and hospice care.
After the unexpected death of her husband, my business partner, Karen wrote a book, “I Didn’t See That Coming”, which includes worksheets to help you organize and record the pertinent information of your legal, financial and insurance documents. This book is an invaluable resource for you and your loved ones when a Life Event happens, whether expected or unexpected and can be purchased from our website.
My wish for you is that you and your loved ones get your legal and financial documents taken care of and organized as soon as possible, and have conversations about what to do if and when something happens. Take it from me, there is enough stress and overwhelm involved in these situations without the added stress of having to figure out finances and paperwork.
Thank you, mom, for setting such a great example of how to make sure your final days are in accordance with your wishes and that your assets will be managed exactly as you wanted. What a lasting legacy you’ve created!